Lewis tagged me several days ago, asking me to list my 10 steps to happiness. The idea flows from his new book Lead with your Heart, which talks about doing good to make yourself and others happy in business and in life.
My happiness steps might be totally different from someone else's. That
doesn't make mine or theirs better.
These are things that work for me. A few might be (or, perhaps, should be) universal. Others may be very much my own.
So, in no particular order:
In Business --
1) Try, always, to be honest, fair and considerate.
I have found it's so much easier to do business when you're fair and honest. And being considerate often makes you do a better job by understanding what others want. These things also make for a happier work environment.
2) Enjoy what you do.
I have friends who can tell me, almost to the minute, how much time they have until they can retire. How sad that is. I like what I do. I'm not saying there's never a day when I'd rather be at the beach, but most of the time I actually look forward to going into work.
3) Give as much value as you can.
You'll feel so much better about yourself if you can honestly say you've done something to provide value in the product you produce or the service you offer. It makes work more about accomplishing something than simply about making a buck. I know people who make a sh*tload of money but are very unhappy every day. That's sad.
In Life --
4) Don't waste time staying angry.
Anger is a wasteful and harmful emotion. I'm not saying never to get mad or upset -- it's natural. But try not to hold onto anger. I've seen it debilitate people. Holding onto anger is just plain stupid. Let it go... and you'll be happier.
5) Try not to be jealous.
We all get jealous at times, but try to keep it in perspective. Look at what you have that others may not, and focus on that. Unless you're way up on the Forbes Richest People list, there will always be someone who has more than you. So what.
6) Don't obsess over money.
Remember that money is a means to an end, not the end itself. Money can buy you things that may make you happy, but it really can't buy you happiness. There's a difference. I know people who spend their time chasing every last dollar, and they seem to be on a constant hamster-cage wheel, chasing instead of enjoying what they have. You know what they say... you can't take it with you.
7) It's not always about winning.
You can't always win. Sometimes, it's not worth the aggravation to fight until you win. I have a friend who was going through an ugly divorce. The process could have ended years earlier than it did, but my friend had to win...had to get more spoils than the ex-spouse. I said, so what if your ex gets a little more than you? You don't need the extra money. And the faster you finalize things, you're rid of that person forever and you can move on with your life. My friend understood, but still continued to fight because it was about winning. Through the process, the friend was miserable. So much time wasted; so many needless tears.
With Family and Friends --
8) Time is precious. Don't waste it.
Don't waste time by letting anger, jealousy and pettiness get in the way of treasuring family and friends. Got a problem? Talk about it, calmly and openly. And remember #7 above -- it's not about winning. The years go by oh so quickly.
9) Tell someone you love that you love them.
Don't assume they know it. What a wonderful thing to hear from someone who is important to you! Men are especially bad at this. How many men don't tell their sons they love them, and how many fathers and sons don't kiss or hug or show outward affection because it's not the "manly" thing to do. Baloney! Express love while you can. I've heard too many people say, after a loved one dies, "I never told him how much I loved him." Why wait until it's too late?
10) Hug your dog.
I can think of a few more, but I'll save those for another time.
Instead of tagging some people, I invite anyone reading this to offer a comment below with your own Steps to Happiness. It doesn't have to be ten. Even one good one you care to share with us will suffice.
So... What makes you happy?